So, I hesitate to post this, because I'm not sure if it violates the husband/wife secrecy laws, but I just have to see if this has ever happened to anyone else.
My husband declined an offer to have sex.
Seriously?! Do men actually do this? Because never in my life has that happened to me before.
He said (1) he didn't want to have to wear a condom, since we are trying not to get pregnant until June, and (2) that he was just feeling "ugh" and "not into it", which I can completely identify with because that has been my reasoning 90% of the time that I don't feel like it. But, dude, you're a guy.
I tried (and mostly succeeded) really hard not to be angry, since like I said, I've declined his offers quite a few times, but there's still a part of me that finds it really hard not to take it a little bit personally.
And then my crazy mind takes over, and I (even if it's just for a second) start thinking things like maybe he really doesn't want to have a baby with me, and does he not find me attractive anymore and (the most irrational and painful of them all) is this a sign of something bigger? Is this the beginning of the end?
(warning: this is where I start to ramble...)
The worst part about that is that I am 100% confident in my marriage. I know my husband loves me. I know he finds me attractive, and I know that he has every right to just not feel like it sometimes. But, I'm a woman, and sometimes, even for a split second, I can be irrational. (Who, me?!) And I know it's completely irrational so I'm not going to even mention these thoughts to him.
I have been trying to work harder at thinking before I say things. He's the kind of soft-spoken, passive guy who will just take whatever you dish out. And I am trying to be very conscious of the fact that saying certain things may make him silently angry or resentful, and I don't want to do that to him or our marriage. Not that I'm concerned he'll be angry or resentful that I was a little upset about this event, (or lack thereof, lol), but I don't want to make him feel bad for not feeling into "it". He has that right. He lets me not be into "it" with very little disappointment on his part, and I pull the card WAY more often than he does. (Since he's NEVER pulled this card. EVER.)
We did, however, make a deal to do it before my wisdom teeth surgery, since I definitely won't be into "it" after that.
At any rate, my husband didn't feel like having sex with me. That's normal every once in a while, right?
(Please say yes...)
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Believe it or not, it does happen. I really wouldn't worry about this unless it becomes more frequent. And don't worry about your reaction, I did the exact same thing as you (oh my gosh, does he love me? is he attracted to me? etc., etc.). It only happens about once a year, but yes, it does happen. They are humans, too, and not always the sexual animals we think they are!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't panic, girl!!!!!